The Savior
"My mother needs to go to Surat", I heard my wife say from all the other things that I may have missed listening to. My mother-in-law was staying with us for a couple of days and we were supposed to drop her at her place which was just few blocks away from our house.
Don't know what struck me, I said, "We are not going to Surat to drop her"
My wife was furious at what I said. Definitely she was and I realized that even without looking at her because when I looked up I saw my mother-in-law sitting right in front of me. My wife came out of the kitchen and showed her furious face for the effect I had on her.
My mother-in-law was calm on what just transpired between her daughter and her husband. I was thinking what she was thinking: "This guy is really mad. Firstly he is engrossed in the newspaper that he is reading. Secondly he is not listening to what is being discussed. Thirdly he boards the train of talk without any thought".
On the contrary my mother-in-law told her daughter to calm down and supported me saying, "Of course not. But you will come to drop me to the station"
In the afternoon heat of summer, I was hunting for a rickshaw that can take us all to the station. After lot of cajoling, one of the fellows agreed. Reaching the station was one of the most adventurous rides than Esselworld. Rickshaw driver was good at maneuvering the rickshaw into each and very pothole he could find. I lost my temper and abused the rickshaw driver with foul words.
Again the complete episode of furiousness repeated on my wife's face. My mother-in-law again came to my rescue.
Reaching the station was just a beginning of our plight. I had to stand in a queue to get the ticket for my mother-in-law. That was fine with me. But other people were not so happy about it, I guess. Every now and then somebody asked me whether this is the right window to get a ticket to go to some place I did not know, or would this train go to that particular destination, or would this window issue a return ticket to travel within Mumbai. Out of the 50 people in the queue, I was the only approachable gentleman. After these many questions, I was in serious doubt if I was standing in the right queue in front of the right window to buy the ticket to Surat.
Suspense ended when I finally got the ticket in my hand. Feeling the victory over the small battle, we started moving to the platform where the train would arrive. While we were waiting for the train to arrive, I said "I hope the ride is worth the ticket we bought for you, mother-in-law".
My mother-in-law smiled at me and said, "Yes, it will be". My wife was not even trying to talk. She would have exploded with the lava of wrath (words or paragraphs is something she would be in control of) on me if she had opened her mouth.
The train finally arrived. The First Class boogey was in front us. I looked at my wife. My wife looked at her mother and my mother-in-law looked at me. The ticket was for a general class without reservation. We started running to the end of the train where the general class boogey was.
In total there were there are three bogeys in which anybody who had a valid ticket can get in for a ride. When we reached there, there was commotion. I could see a funnel of people trying to get in. All the three bogeys had large funnels. Zeroing in one of the smallest funnel, I told my mother-in-law, "Board this one".
Mother-in-law scurried to get into the bogey.
A fat man with an equally fat family of 4 was struggling hard to help his family members to get into that bogey. He was not successful in doing this because the baggage his family was carrying was making it impossible for any of the family member to get in. This is when I realized why the funnel was small. I shouted and abused the fat man with foul words. This time though not my wife but the fat man became furious. He streamed a list of choicest foul words to me. The other family members decided to support him and also added to the some more unique ones to his vocabulary. This infuriated me and I used my most special dictionary of filthy and offensive words. This was to help my ego: “No one in this world can beat me in this area of my expertise”
The fat man and the family members were even better than me. I had to accept it. Their vocabulary was the same but the rhythm and synchronization between the family members pronouncing and hitting me back with those words was really like an orchestra with chorus.
In the verbal battle which ensued, I had lost all sense of where I was and what was I here for. I could see the train move an inch. Then it moved 2 more and then slowly it was crawling. I came to my senses. What I saw and heard shocked me. Everybody in the bogey was clapping and cheering me. The funnel of passengers had disappeared into the bogey with the fat man and his family still on the platform battling with me.
My mother-in-law was there in the bogey cheering me with others for what I had accomplished. For her and the co-passengers who made it into the bogey I was the savior.
Don't know what struck me, I said, "We are not going to Surat to drop her"
My wife was furious at what I said. Definitely she was and I realized that even without looking at her because when I looked up I saw my mother-in-law sitting right in front of me. My wife came out of the kitchen and showed her furious face for the effect I had on her.
My mother-in-law was calm on what just transpired between her daughter and her husband. I was thinking what she was thinking: "This guy is really mad. Firstly he is engrossed in the newspaper that he is reading. Secondly he is not listening to what is being discussed. Thirdly he boards the train of talk without any thought".
On the contrary my mother-in-law told her daughter to calm down and supported me saying, "Of course not. But you will come to drop me to the station"
In the afternoon heat of summer, I was hunting for a rickshaw that can take us all to the station. After lot of cajoling, one of the fellows agreed. Reaching the station was one of the most adventurous rides than Esselworld. Rickshaw driver was good at maneuvering the rickshaw into each and very pothole he could find. I lost my temper and abused the rickshaw driver with foul words.
Again the complete episode of furiousness repeated on my wife's face. My mother-in-law again came to my rescue.
Reaching the station was just a beginning of our plight. I had to stand in a queue to get the ticket for my mother-in-law. That was fine with me. But other people were not so happy about it, I guess. Every now and then somebody asked me whether this is the right window to get a ticket to go to some place I did not know, or would this train go to that particular destination, or would this window issue a return ticket to travel within Mumbai. Out of the 50 people in the queue, I was the only approachable gentleman. After these many questions, I was in serious doubt if I was standing in the right queue in front of the right window to buy the ticket to Surat.
Suspense ended when I finally got the ticket in my hand. Feeling the victory over the small battle, we started moving to the platform where the train would arrive. While we were waiting for the train to arrive, I said "I hope the ride is worth the ticket we bought for you, mother-in-law".
My mother-in-law smiled at me and said, "Yes, it will be". My wife was not even trying to talk. She would have exploded with the lava of wrath (words or paragraphs is something she would be in control of) on me if she had opened her mouth.
The train finally arrived. The First Class boogey was in front us. I looked at my wife. My wife looked at her mother and my mother-in-law looked at me. The ticket was for a general class without reservation. We started running to the end of the train where the general class boogey was.
In total there were there are three bogeys in which anybody who had a valid ticket can get in for a ride. When we reached there, there was commotion. I could see a funnel of people trying to get in. All the three bogeys had large funnels. Zeroing in one of the smallest funnel, I told my mother-in-law, "Board this one".
Mother-in-law scurried to get into the bogey.
A fat man with an equally fat family of 4 was struggling hard to help his family members to get into that bogey. He was not successful in doing this because the baggage his family was carrying was making it impossible for any of the family member to get in. This is when I realized why the funnel was small. I shouted and abused the fat man with foul words. This time though not my wife but the fat man became furious. He streamed a list of choicest foul words to me. The other family members decided to support him and also added to the some more unique ones to his vocabulary. This infuriated me and I used my most special dictionary of filthy and offensive words. This was to help my ego: “No one in this world can beat me in this area of my expertise”
The fat man and the family members were even better than me. I had to accept it. Their vocabulary was the same but the rhythm and synchronization between the family members pronouncing and hitting me back with those words was really like an orchestra with chorus.
In the verbal battle which ensued, I had lost all sense of where I was and what was I here for. I could see the train move an inch. Then it moved 2 more and then slowly it was crawling. I came to my senses. What I saw and heard shocked me. Everybody in the bogey was clapping and cheering me. The funnel of passengers had disappeared into the bogey with the fat man and his family still on the platform battling with me.
My mother-in-law was there in the bogey cheering me with others for what I had accomplished. For her and the co-passengers who made it into the bogey I was the savior.
posted by Mihir Damniwala | 9:29 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home